Some of the worst acting on T.V.

It was all well and good until CSI Miami became the most watched show in the world. Yes, that right. Now I want to break David Caruso's stupid sunglasses in half. Why do people love this crap?



I've only watched this thing to 3 mins. I'm amazed that's only halfway.



Carrey nails it.

Faking a heart attack in court

Summer is here and I was enjoying it but now I'm back with a little advice.
Don't be as amazingly stupid as this guy.


How Not To Fake A Heart Attack - Watch more free videos

Carlin on names

I haven't watched much else these days...

Denon $500 1.5 Meter Ethernet cable!

This is just ridiculous....
Some how the electronics manufacturer Denon thinks it can sell a $2 product at a mark up of 25000%. And you know what... they can. Some rich idiots have spent money on these things.



But I have to say... the description is a lot better. "Denon's 1.5 meter (59 in.) ultra premium Denon Link cable was designed for the audio enthusiast. Made from high purity copper wire and high performance connection parts, the AK-DL1 will bring out all the nuances in digital audio reproduction from any of our Denon DVD players with the Denon Link feature. Attention to detail when building this cable was used by employing high quality insulation, tin-bearing alloy shielding and woven jacketing to reduce vibration and to add durability. Additionally, signal directional markings are provided for optimum signal transfer. Rounded plug levers help prevent breakage."
Classic...
If you are still shaking your head you should read the fantastic Amazon reviews.

Here are some highlights:

"Holding this cable in my hands actually makes me feel that much closer to the Lord Jesus.."

"If time travel is your thing, there is just no way to get the flux capacitor to fire correctly without this cable. Well worth the money."


"This cable in unbelivable, I connected this puppy upto my PC and router, and it's made the world of difference, last night I managed to download the entire Internet to my PC in 10 nanoseconds, when I view pages, there are no load times at all, and all the p0rn looks so much better.

This is the best $499.99 I have ever spent, the fact it's now reduced by $1 is even better. Get one now, and download the internet instantly yourself."

O.K. that's enough for today. I guess there really is a sucker born every minute.

Bug reveals true nature of reporter.

Funny...



Bug in Mouth Brings Out the Street in Reporter - Watch more free videos

April Fools Day on the Internets

This year brought us some great collaborations for April fools. This day always bought out the worst and best of me. I guess I don't know where the boundry is until i've stepped over it, sorry everyone i've ever known.
The net is also full of fantastic pranksters. My personal fav had to be the joint Google-Virgin "Virgle" prank. The prank looks for applicants willing to go to Mars.

Another Great prank was Gmail's Custom Time. This enables people to send e-mails on the date they specify, even if its already passed.

For an extensive list of all the internet prankness be sure to check out http://aprilfoolsdayontheweb.com/

George Carlin, The American Dream

I Love George Carlin.... Not because he's funny, but because he's honest, intelligent AND funny. I got to see this particular HBO special live just so I could realize how insignificant I really am.

The Landlord

Laugh.....This has been seen a million times but it's still a classic.

SpAcE Junk...

Grandma was awesome

The Hour : Ricky Gervais

Half decent little interview. If you appreciate Gervais sense of humor or have the potential to laugh at a joke, you might get something from this.

John Cleese’s “Letter to America”

Dear Citizens of America,
In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.
Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”
3. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation.
4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
5. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”
6. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,
but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).
7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will
be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called “Come-Uppance Day.”
8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.
9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables… Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.
12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) - roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.
13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.
14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ear removed with a cheese grater.
17. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer”. Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
bunch of Jessies - English slang for “Big Girls Blouse”).
18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven.
19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.
20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.
Thank you for your co-operation.
John Cleese

Robot Chicken Star Wars

I watch too much T.V.
Especially when I am on the computer. Robot Chicken is one of those shows I catch once in a while and they recently made a Star Wars special. If you wanna give it a watch HERE it is and its totally legit and free!

Kids are growing up fast

Yes, I know. Pretty shocking. Leads me to a few thoughts.... You don't expect kids that age to act like that but in some way its fascinating. May end up in some art gallery. Who was taking this photo and why!?
Guess life's too short for some.
Take it from this kid.